


pearly in our means as we walk, on a star

by mazzawitz



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 10:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7312006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazzawitz/pseuds/mazzawitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Important conversations and important moments. Or something. </p><p>Title from "Interstellar" by Frankie Rose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pearly in our means as we walk, on a star

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of think of this as a missing scene from [you my compass and my sea](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6075297/chapters/13924203). I've been meaning to write and publish it forever. 
> 
> I originally thought this would be a series of one-shots, but this is just better on its own, I think.

Two months since they’d left Mars without Watney. **  
**

Three weeks since they’d started sleeping together. (Literally and, you know… the other way, too.)

Four minutes until Chris would hit his self-mandated 15 minute waiting period after the lights went out before sneaking into Beth’s room. Four minutes that couldn’t pass quickly enough. 

He really should’ve waited longer than usual tonight since Vogel was still in the shower at the end of the hall (he’d stayed up late to watch the results of an experiment) but he couldn’t be bothered. He was tired as all hell from a maintenance EVA he did earlier in the day, and he just wanted to curl up with Beth and close his eyes. 

So he poked his head from his room like a kid at summer camp trying to escape his cabin and listened until he was sure he heard the water in the bathroom still running. Then, he quickly padded over to Beth’s bunk at the other end of the hall. 

When he slid her door open, he found Beth curled up with a tablet under the dim beside light, her face illuminated by the bright screen.

He frowned. “Doesn’t that hurt your eyes?” he asked as he flopped down next to her on the bed. 

She powered the tablet off and handed it to him to place on the beside desk. “Hi to you too.” 

He laughed as he set it down and rolled back toward her. “Sorry. Hi.” He inched forward and kissed her arm, the closest part of her body to his face. “Were you done? You don’t have to–” 

“Yes,” she said, cutting him off as she slid down on the pillows to level her face with his. “I like you more than the weird small-town news articles my dad emails me, believe it or not.” 

He chuckled and rolled onto his back, wrapping an arm around her as she curled into his side. “Well that’s good to know.” 

No matter how tired either of them were at the end of a day, they’d never skip this _them_ time they got once he ventured into her room every night. Throughout the rest of the day, even if they thought they were the only ones in the rec or in a lab, they could never be fully sure they were alone. This was the only time they got to be completely themselves. It was their favorite part of the day. 

They chatted aimlessly back and forth for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and the chance to unwind. At some point, a memory of Mark came up in the conversation, and they both disappeared into their own thoughts for a while. 

Beth finally broke the somber but comfortable silence that had fallen between them. 

“Remember that night just before launch when we all went out to that whiskey bar?” 

Chris laughed. “Yeah.” He hadn’t thought about that in a while. “Of course I do. That was…” He trailed off, leaving what looked like a bittersweet smile on his face.

“What?” She peered up at him. “You were about to say something.” 

He let out a breath, as if he was deliberating saying any more, but then continued. 

“Of course I remember. I was pathetic. That night was the closest I ever came to slipping and telling you how I felt about you. You showed up in some pretty dress — I can still picture exactly how you looked — and we were having so much fun and probably too many drinks, and I was just so happy to be around you.” 

She watched him smile to himself as stared absentmindedly at the ceiling. 

“God, I just remember I wanted to kiss you so bad. But I couldn’t.” 

Beth bit her lip and blushed. She usually wouldn’t know how to react to someone speaking about her so sweetly, but with Chris, all she could do was smile. He was nothing but sincere, and even though it was dark, she could tell he was blushing a little too. 

“Well, now you can,” she managed to say, and he turned to her with affection glowing in his eyes.

He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers, smiling as he pulled away, but he still looked a little lost in thought. 

“You know, I guess I still haven’t really told you how I feel about you,” he said, and Beth scrunched her brow in question. 

Chris shook his head before she could say anything, and his expression changed, as if he’d made up his mind. 

“We’ve already seen how quickly everything can be taken away up here, and I just…” He sighed and turned his head to look right at her. “I don’t think I can last another day without making sure you know that I’m completely in love with you, and I have been for a long time. If something else happened and I hadn’t told you that, it’d be the worst mistake of my life. So please just know that I love you, okay?” 

When he finished speaking, Beth’s eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly open. She blinked a few times, then met his eyes again. 

“You love me?” she practically whispered. 

He managed a half-smile. “I really do.” 

She stared right into him a few moments longer.

Then, he felt her grip tighten around his shirt where her hand lay across his chest. 

“I love you too.” 

His eyebrows crept up the slightest bit. He hadn’t exactly expected her to say it back, not because he doubted her feelings toward him, but because he knew she always took a little more time to process things; to think things through.

Hearing her say it, though… That felt better than anything he ever could’ve imagined. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

She nodded into his shoulder with an intense look on her face. 

“God, all this time I’ve been trying to put a word… Put a word on what it is I feel toward you. And I don’t know why I didn’t realize–” she trailed off, shaking her head and smiling a little, like she was in disbelief. She spoke again in a tiny voice. “I’m an idiot. I _love_ you. That’s what it is.” 

He just laughed, because it was _so_ Beth, and it was every reason why he loved her so much. 

“I need to catch up with you on this stuff, don’t I?” she mumbled into his shirt. “Took me forever to figure out I liked you; took me forever to figure out I love you.” 

He just laughed and leaned over to press a kiss along her jaw. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” 

Her eyes fell closed as she smiled and slipped an arm around his neck, holding him close. 

“God, it feels good to tell you that,” he murmured against her head. “I’ve wanted to for so long.” 

She gently pushed him back onto his pillow so they were face to face again. 

“Why didn’t you?” she asked quietly. 

Chris raised his eyebrows. Did she forget they were in _space_?

She rolled her eyes with a short laugh. “Besides the rules. Once we… you know.” Her voice softened. “Once we started this.” 

He exhaled a heavy breath and lazily shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to freak out you out.” He paused. “You’re the best thing about my life, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing that too.” 

Beth felt her heart rip right in half. She brought a hand to his cheek and inched forward to kiss him softly. 

Her eyes studied his as she crept away, and he laced his fingers with her hand that was still on his face.

“You’re not losing me,” she said. It was a quiet but assertive statement — a fact, really. 

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “I know.” He tugged her against his side once more. 

“And you are far too good for me,” she said as she settled her head on his chest, half seriously and half just to mess with him. 

He let out a _pfff_  and a disapproving groan. “Other way around.” 

She smiled against him. A few nice, quiet minutes passed. Then, Beth angled her face up to his. 

“How long?”

“Hmm?” 

“You said…” She shifted. “You said you’ve been in love with me for a long time.” 

“Ah.” He smiled to himself. “Well, you know I’ve had it bad for you since training.” 

She nodded. He’d told her that the first night they spent together. 

“But there was one night… Probably a few months before launch, when we were walking through the parking lot. Nothing special about it. But — you’re gonna make fun of me for this, I know — you turned and gave me this big smile before you got in your car, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. And that was it.” He felt her smiling against him, and he poked her teasingly in the side. 

She was smiling because _of course_ he had one specific moment attributed to it. Of course he did, because he was him. She angled her chin up again to kiss him on the cheek. His eyes had fallen shut, but he smiled. 

She smirked. “Dork.” 

“Mmm. I know,” he said in a sleepy murmur. “But you already said you love me, so you can’t take it back.” 

She chuckled and let her own eyes close. 

“Not planning on it.” 


End file.
